Transformers Movie Review

Writing a movie review for Transformers is almost completely off-topic, except for the robot connection. After wasting 10 bucks to see this, I thought the least I could do is warn anyone else considering watching this movie before they go and waste their money too.

When my friend and I walked into the screening room, we noticed that Transformers was playing on the smallest screen in the theater. We walked out and almost decided to go into a different movie. But no, we had committed ourselves to seeing Transformers and went back in. We were then subjected to numerous TV-like commercials and an advertisement for the National Guard with tanks and mud flying everywhere. The movie begins...

Shortly after the introduction, the scene opens in Qatar. After all the glorified shots of military helicopters and fighter jets I started chewing my gum harder. I started thinking, "Oh crap, here we go..."

To sum it up, this movie is nothing but a big honkin' Hollywood-style advertisement for the US military. Yep, military propaganda at it's finest, all set to a back drop of overcoming the bullies, getting the hot chick, cool technology and saving the world. I'm sure there are teenagers out there who saw Transformers and are thinking how neato it would be to join the army. The climax comes when one of the military officers hands Sam (the main character) the Allspark and commands him to take it to the roof so that the air force can transport it away from the evil Decepticons. "You're a soldier now!" he says to Sam. Can I puke now? I'm glad I didn't get any popcorn.

Making an appearance in the movie, we have HP (Hewlett Packard) and Apple computer. HP is represented in the beginning of the movie when the military officer is making a video call to his family back home. Apple is represented by the expert official from a top secret government agency (Sector 7). I always make a mental note of which movies companies choose to represent their products in. I haven't liked HP much since they merged with Compaq, but come on Apple! The integrity of Apple's advertising and marketing strategies has gone down the toilet over the past couple years. No Macbook Pro or iPhone for me thanks!

I won't get into the details about how bad Transformers the movie was, already wasted enough time and money on it. I will admit that it did have some witty moments and good special effects. However, is 95% crap and 5% decent worth watching?

"All sentient beings have the freedom to not subject themselves to this crap."